Yated Shidduch Forum 2/8/19: Date 1 Was “DOA,” Should I Still Go On A Date 2?
Question:
I recently went out with a girl and after five minutes knew that it was, what I call, “totally no shaychus,” or “DOA.” For the duration of the date, I still tried to remain focused and polite and gave it my all. My feelings remained the same throughout the date, so I gave the shadchan a no, explaining, “I don’t see it going anywhere.” The shadchan accepted it and relayed the message to the girl’s side. I thought we would both move passed it quickly, as it wasn’t a drawn-out parsha. However, some of my closest family and friends (and even a rebbi) gave me tremendous flack and mussar when they heard what happened. They called me insensitive and rude, and said that it is so insulting to be dumped after one date.