Yated Shidduch Forum 9/27/19: How Can We Show Daters That We Really Care About Them?
Question:
As shadchanim, it seems that singles confide in us. Perhaps you can share some ideas of how we can display our care for them. Are there things they want to hear or specific things they don’t want to hear? What can we do to show that we really care?
Yated Shidduch Forum 9/20/19: I Was Misled About a Shidduch; Can I Get Paid Back for My Expenses?
Question:
Our son is learning in Eretz Yisroel, where he went out with a girl from America who was on vacation there. It was made clear to the girl’s family that our son is a very serious learner and wants to learn long-term. We told the shadchan this numerous times before and during the shidduch, and we asked if this is what they wanted, and the shadchan assured us that they did.
Our son met the girl five times in Eretz Yisroel and continued dating in the United States, because it looked like they were going to get engaged. After a few dates in America, it was broken off because, we were told, the girl’s father doesn’t believe in learning long-term. The father couldn’t convince our son that long-term learning is not his mesorah.
We feel that we were misled by the father in bringing our son back to the States, and we would like the forum panelists to present their views on whether we are entitled to compensation for the expensive travel costs.
Yated Shidduch Forum 9/13/19: Hesitant About Parents Incurring Debt to Offer Support
Question:
I’m a 20-year-old girl who has grown up in a home of Torah. My father is a hardworking person who learns during every minute he has available. We have a large family and my parents barely make ends meet. I want to marry a serious learner, but every boy asks if my parents will support. My parents are willing to take out a long-term loan to pay for this, but I don’t have the heart to let them fall into debt for me in this way. What do you recommend I do?
Yated Shidduch Forum 8/16/19: Dating Someone Who Has Divorced Parents
Question:
As a bochur in shidduchim, from time to time I get redd girls whose parents are divorced. I wish to know what my parents can ask when finding out information about the girl and what I can discuss with the girl on a date that can determine whether she has a healthy perspective and understanding of a relationship and a marriage.
Can the answer to this question also be applicable to a girl whose parent(s) passed away?
(Although it may not be my place to offer my opinion, as I’m sure everyone’s situation in life is very different, I strongly believe that every boy and girl from a divorced home should be given a fair chance to be looked into, without being thrown under the bus the second the divorce info is seen on the résumé.)
Your insight is appreciated.