Yated Shidduch Forum 10/4/19: Should A Shidduch That Requires More Work Call for Paying More Shadchanus?
Question:
The current structure of shadchanus of compensation upon a completed shidduch with nary an allowance for the level of difficulty in getting that particular shidduch off the ground would seem to discourage shadchanim from focusing the majority of their time on singles who are less easy to set up.
In addition, the current structure, which makes no allowance for the time, energy and expertise that a particular shidduch required to navigate it as it moves along, rewards and encourages the yes/yes-no/no style shadchanim, and “punishes” or at the very least discourages the shidduch manager style shadchanim who are expert and dedicated shidduch managers, who really invest themselves in the particular shidduch they are redding and give the couple and their families extensive time to guide them through the process.
This is happening at a time when our community more than ever needs shadchanim to really go to bat for the less-easy-to-set-up singles, as well as shadchanim who are highly skilled and willing to spend the time guiding the singles throughout the shidduch process once a particular shidduch is underway. Of course, the chesed component is somewhat of a motivator, but it only goes so far, as is obvious from the current reality that plays out on a daily basis.
What adjustments in the current shadchanus structure would you suggest to alleviate these issues?