Yated Shidduch Forum 10/30/20: Are People in Shidduchim Focusing on the Wrong Things These Days?
Question:
I’ve been married for ten years. My friend at work, who was single for a long time, recently got married. We are always trying to set up our friends and we noticed that people very often say no to the ideas we mention to them, giving very superficial reasons for doing so. Do you, as shadchanim and people in the world of shidduchim, find that people today are more materialistic and shallow (focusing on looks, where the family stands in the community, etc.) and not focusing on middos, or are people smarter and more cautious (focusing on mental health issues, frumkeit, etc.)?
Yated Shidduch Forum 10/16/20: I Am Limited in my Dating Options due to Covid. How do I Properly Communicate This Challenge to Shadchanim?
Question:
I am an easygoing out-of-towner who has been in shidduchim for a couple of years. With different Covid restrictions in different places, and each city responding differently, there are potential problems that can come up while traveling in to date. If I would have to fly in to date, according to state rules and CDC regulations, I would be required to quarantine before the state allows me to go out and date, and when returning home, I would have to quarantine as well. I am okay with doing that. However, because traveling in to date at this time requires many sacrifices, I would want to do a little more than the usual inquiries to make sure that I am not flying in for a “one-and-done.”
My question is what I should or should not say when contacting shadchanim to ask for new ideas. If I explain to the shadchanim that there may be these difficulties, I fear that they will think of me as picky and hard to work with and choose to not help me at this time. If I do not explain what I will have to go through in order to come in to date, then I fear that if a shidduch comes up, the shadchan may be upset at me for asking them to help me if there are so many obstacles in the way.
How do you suggest I handle contacting shadchanim during this time without ruining our already positive relationship?