Yated Shidduch Forum 1/22/21: Many of the People I Dated Have Real Problems. How Can I Best Bring This to Their Attention?
Question:
I’ve been dating for a number of years now and have met all kinds of people from different walks of life. It seems to me that some of the young men I happened to meet are so eager to marry and build a family that they get caught in their blinding desire and don’t realize that they actually have to build a relationship with me in order for us to connect and become husband and wife. They see their dream, but they don’t see me.
Other men simply have bad social skills, come late consistently, or have paralyzing anxiety that gets in the way of them connecting or being reasonably flexible. These people go on to date other girls, assuming they just haven’t found the right one.
My question is, after I date such a fellow, will I be doing him a service if I reach out to his rabbi or reference and let them know that this man, who wants to get married so badly, needs hadracha? Or do I go about my way and hope he gets what he needs somehow? If I do say something, how would I best go about it?