Meet The Shadchan Event
12/22/21 – For Single Women in Baltimore Ages 24 and Under
Yated Shidduch Forum 12/17/21: Are Her Shidduch References Being Lazy?
Question:
As the mother of a boy, I would like to raise a problem that I face while trying to gather information about a girl. Too often, I call a reference who answers the phone, and I tell her that I am calling for shidduch information. Before even giving her the girl’s name, she says, “Sorry, I can’t speak right now. I am just sitting down to dinner / putting my kids to sleep / in a car full of girls / in a store…”
People must realize that giving shidduch info should be a priority. If someone calls, give the info right then. If you need more time, call back right away.
Don’t wait… The girl may lose her chance. I may just go on to the next girl.
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Yated Shidduch Forum 12/10/21: How Can I Reintroduce a Previously Rejected Shidduch Idea to my Family?
Question:
To the esteemed panelists:
It is admirable and appreciated that so many people want to suggest shidduchim, but unless the shadchan is extremely close to the single, they would not know if the single is currently dating someone, just finished a difficult dating situation and needs a break, or for any other reason might not be open to suggestions at the moment.
To avoid putting singles in the awkward spot of having to explain, be evasive, or make excuses (which typically prompt shadchanim to respond with explanations as to why the shidduch is truly a good idea even if the single already said that it doesn’t sound appropriate for them), I find it extremely helpful when people open with a general question of, “Are you available for shidduch suggestions at this time?” and wait for an affirmative response before making any suggestions.
I also feel that there is an element of respect in asking if someone is interested in suggestions at the time, rather than assuming that she is free and available to any suggestion that comes her way. It is my hope that sharing this message will make this opening line more commonly used.
Your thoughts?