Yated Shidduch Forum 9/9/16: Looking for Money, an Appropriate Priority in Shidduchim?
Question: My husband and I have a son in shidduchim and we are looking for money. There, I said it. I know, one isn’t to supposed to say it so openly. But we are. We’ve been down the other road, and it is just too hard for us to carry an additional couple financially. My […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 9/2/16: Sharing a Positive Report After a Shidduch Call
Question: I am an eleventh grade teacher and I was called about one of my students, who I think very highly of. I gave an extremely positive report, raving about this girl’s qualities. I was wondering what the panelists feel about letting this girl know that I was called for shidduch-related info and that I gave […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 8/26/16: Traveling for Dates
Question: In response to recent Yated letters about out of town girls in shidduchim, I feel that there are many who agree about the maalos of out of town but are deterred from going out there due to the astronomical costs of plane tickets and out of town car rentals. Obviously, if it’s the right […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 8/19/16: Is There an Optimal Age for Marriage?
Question: Amongst my chevrah of high school friends, there are some who married right away, at 19 or 20, and some who got married a bit later, at 22 or 23. I have noticed an interesting pattern: The ones who married later seem to be more happily married and have made better choices. In fact, one of […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 8/12/16: The Wrong Time to Say Hello?
Question: I went out with a boy recently, and on our second date we went to a hotel lounge. While there, the boy spotted his friend, who was also on a date. As we were leaving the hotel, the friend and his date were also leaving. As we got the hotel exit at about the […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 8/5/16: Being Prepared for Shidduchim
Question: I am a high school teacher who is concerned about her students’ future and their entry into shidduchim in a year or two. (I teach eleventh and twelfth graders.) If there was something that you wished girls my students’ ages knew before they entered shidduchim, what would it be? Students of mine have told me that they read […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 7/29/16: Turned Down for Going to the “Wrong” Yeshiva
Question: Thank you for considering our question, which is timely and is weighing on us very much. We are blessed with a son who is a metzuyan. You might say that we are biased parents, but we were told by his rosh yeshiva and his rabbeim throughout the years what an outstanding ben Torah he […]
Where What When 7/21/16 – Shidduchim: Stories, Sechel & Strategy
Navigating the shidduch parsha can be akin to traversing a vast forest in the dead of night with no torch in hand. As a result, decisions are made, often inadvertently, that may be counterproductive or even harmful. It is my hope to shed light on a few areas of concern that have presented themselves recently. […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 7/22/16: Feeling Hurt by the Shidduch System
Question: I am married, boruch Hashem, but after having been in shidduchim for a while, I’m still somewhat traumatized from the whole process. I can’t seem to shake the feeling of resentment toward our community. Why is shidduchim so humiliating? From being told that you are on someone’s waiting list, to going months without knowing when you will date next, to running […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 7/15/16: Dropping The Shadchan
Question: I recently redd a shidduch and the boy and girl went out one time. Strangely, after the first date, I was told by the chosson’s mother that the boy and girl will set up the next date and that I won’t need to be “bothered” with it. I was happy to hear that the […]