Website sponsored by Mr. & Mrs. Malkiel Goldberger in honor of their precious children

Published Articles

Yated Shidduch Forum 10/7/22: Should I Dump Him Because He Didn’t Check My References?

Question: 
 
I just went on a fifth date with a bochur. He seemed like he was everything I was looking for in a husband, until he dropped a bombshell by disclosing that neither he nor his parents checked any of my references. His rationale behind refusing to check references was his preference for natural face-to-face communication, rather than using reference checking – which I actually consider to be the only valid form of dating someone. I think I feel cheated. Is this a reason to end it with him?

Read More »

Yated Shidduch Forum 8/12/22: How to Handle Shidduch Research Calls from Anonymous Calls?

Question:
 
I have a follow-up to the question from a few weeks ago about serving as a shidduch reference.
 
Recently, quite a few times, I got calls about singles from people, but they refused to provide their name or their relationship to the shidduch (meaning if it’s for their son, daughter, or some other relative).
 
Am I obligated or expected to provide shidduch information to people who don’t want to identify themselves? Am I doing a disservice to the singles in question if I insist on the people revealing their identities (in which case I really don’t know if the names and info they give me are genuine anyway)? Or am I just being too paranoid?

Read More »

Yated Shidduch Forum 6/24/22: I am a Child of Divorce in Shidduchim. Why do People Seem to Hold this Against Me?

Question:

I am a child of divorce who has been in shidduchim now for 10 years. Over the years, I’ve been privy to conversations of people discussing their deep distrust of children of divorce in shidduchim. I myself have been turned down for exactly that reason. Seeing as our parents’ marriages are not something we have any control over, it seems unfair that this is held against the children. Should people be putting so much weight on something out of the child’s/dater’s hands?

Read More »