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Yated Shidduch Forum 9/30/16: She’s Ready, He’s Not. What To Do?

Question: I was involved in redding a shidduch. The boy is a very fine young man, though not what we would call a “learning boy.” The boy and girl went out five times and the girl was ready. At that point, the boy was asked where he’s holding, and he said that in his circles, people go out […]

Yated Shidduch Forum 9/23/16: Mislead About Getting Engaged

Question: I was dating a boy for several weeks and we connected well on many levels. Each date was quite long, leading us closer to cementing the relationship. At the very last meeting, we spoke about finalizing the shidduch. The boy clearly led me to believe that the next meeting would be a prelude to an engagement. The […]

To Travel for a Date or Not to Travel; That Is the Question

Who should travel for a first date? Should it be the young man, or the young woman? Lately, this has become one of the most frequently asked questions by those who are in the shidduch parsha. Parents, young women, and bachurim are all asking this question and wondering what is the appropriate, right, and fair […]

Yated Shidduch Forum 9/2/16: Sharing a Positive Report After a Shidduch Call

Question: I am an eleventh grade teacher and I was called about one of my students, who I think very highly of. I gave an extremely positive report, raving about this girl’s qualities. I was wondering what the panelists feel about letting this girl know that I was called for shidduch-related info and that I gave […]

Yated Shidduch Forum 8/26/16: Traveling for Dates

Question: In response to recent Yated letters about out of town girls in shidduchim, I feel that there are many who agree about the maalos of out of town but are deterred from going out there due to the astronomical costs of plane tickets and out of town car rentals. Obviously, if it’s the right […]

Yated Shidduch Forum 8/19/16: Is There an Optimal Age for Marriage?

Question: Amongst my chevrah of high school friends, there are some who married right away, at 19 or 20, and some who got married a bit later, at 22 or 23. I have noticed an interesting pattern: The ones who married later seem to be more happily married and have made better choices. In fact, one of […]

Yated Shidduch Forum 8/12/16: The Wrong Time to Say Hello?

Question: I went out with a boy recently, and on our second date we went to a hotel lounge. While there, the boy spotted his friend, who was also on a date. As we were leaving the hotel, the friend and his date were also leaving. As we got the hotel exit at about the […]

Yated Shidduch Forum 8/5/16: Being Prepared for Shidduchim

Question: I am a high school teacher who is concerned about her students’ future and their entry into shidduchim in a year or two. (I teach eleventh and twelfth graders.) If there was something that you wished girls my students’ ages knew before they entered shidduchim, what would it be? Students of mine have told me that they read […]