Yated Shidduch Forum 7/12/19: Can I be Guaranteed of a Blissful Marriage From The Start?
Question:
I was very disturbed by a sign that someone recently posted in the yeshiva where I learn. He wrote that he was recently married and, within the first week of sheva brachos, his wife was crying and he couldn’t figure out what he had done wrong. He goes on to write that after much money spent on therapists and going back to his chosson rebbi, etc., he was able to work things out, and he is thankful that he didn’t get divorced “like other newly married couples he had heard about.” He was writing to tell all those out there that are going through things that they’re not in it alone and that there’s ways to fix things up.
The fact that someone who had failed so miserably with his shalom bayis right from the start of his marriage was giving out advice on how to maintain a solid marriage seemed very ironic to me. But besides for that, it seemed faulty logic to me to allow himself to make a mistake with how to deal with his wife and to find out after he got married how to fix it up, when he could have learned all those tips before marriage and thus prevented such issues and then marriage could have been a lechatchilah situation, one of bliss and enjoyment, and not of resolving issues that were unnecessarily created.
Am I the one making a mistake here?