Yated Shidduch Forum 8/9/19: Time to Do Away With Shidduch Resume Pictures?
Question:
As a shadchan for close to three decades, I would like to say that I’ve done a comparative study (it took about a second) and concluded that my having made 7 shidduchim before résumés with photos and one shidduch in the last 15 years is a clear sign that it is way harder to get a date off the ground these days. I still specialize in phone call/email momentum, still match people thoughtfully, and still feel optimistic each and every time. Only difference? Getting a boy to agree to go out with an average-looking girl or, even more often, with girls whose parents don’t want their photos all over town. Some boys just won’t take my word for it and won’t call/ask the references. No photo? Nothin’ doin’.
May I suggest, then, a new concept called retro-dating? Date like it’s 1995 or even 2002. Call the references. Ask around. Don’t say no to a girl because of a photo unless the rest of her information is not suitable as well. Not everyone is photogenic, yet they may sparkle in real life. And many fine-looking girls whose photos are not on their résumés for tznius reasons are being passed up for lack of photo alone. Retro-dating is my humble solution.
August 3 & 4: Shidduch Center Summer Event 2019!
Featuring Rabbi Aryeh Zev Ginzberg founder of the Ohel Sarala Initiative
Yated Shidduch Forum 8/2/19: Why I am Not Hearing About More Single Women?
Question:
As a bochur in shidduchim for some time, with many friends in the same situation, and hearing that there are many girls also looking for their zivugim, I was wondering if there is anything that could be done to address this matter.
A married friend of mine told me that his wife has friends in the parsha for over two years who have not yet dated! Why aren’t we hearing about these girls?
Take a look at the frum real estate market. There are hundreds of agents working in that field. Yet, in the market of shidduchim, there are far fewer “agents” – namely, shadchanim. Now, obviously everyone has their basherte zivug and time, but b’derech hateva, if shadchanim were paid equivalent to other sales positions, wouldn’t there be more shadchanim, and in turn more shidduchim being redd, and we’d have more simchos?
I feel that shadchanim are undervalued and underpaid, and we may benefit drastically by paying them like it is a full-time job, because it is.
What do the panelists feel about this?