Yated Shidduch Forum 8/9/19: Time to Do Away With Shidduch Resume Pictures?
Question:
As a shadchan for close to three decades, I would like to say that I’ve done a comparative study (it took about a second) and concluded that my having made 7 shidduchim before résumés with photos and one shidduch in the last 15 years is a clear sign that it is way harder to get a date off the ground these days. I still specialize in phone call/email momentum, still match people thoughtfully, and still feel optimistic each and every time. Only difference? Getting a boy to agree to go out with an average-looking girl or, even more often, with girls whose parents don’t want their photos all over town. Some boys just won’t take my word for it and won’t call/ask the references. No photo? Nothin’ doin’.
May I suggest, then, a new concept called retro-dating? Date like it’s 1995 or even 2002. Call the references. Ask around. Don’t say no to a girl because of a photo unless the rest of her information is not suitable as well. Not everyone is photogenic, yet they may sparkle in real life. And many fine-looking girls whose photos are not on their résumés for tznius reasons are being passed up for lack of photo alone. Retro-dating is my humble solution.