Yated Shidduch Forum 2/26/21: Why Does No-one Ever Call Me Back?
Question:
I spoke to the mother of a boy to find out some details about her son to see if he would be a shidduch for my friend. (This boy is my brother’s friend.) After I had asked all my questions, I emailed her with the résumé of my friend. After about a week, she had not responded, so I sent another email, asking if she can confirm that she received the résumé. Still no response. About two weeks later, I called her and she said, “Oh, thank you so much for thinking of my son, but I don’t think that it is for him.”
Honestly, where is the mentchlechkeit in that? Someone took the time to think of your son and you couldn’t even respond with an email? For myself, it’s frustrating, but for my friend, whom I called to get her résumé, it can be so unsettling to know about an open shidduch. (I had those experiences as well.)
My basic question is: What happened to just being a mentch?
Thank you.
Answer:
Yated Shidduch Forum 2/19/21: Are We Dating in the Wrong Places and for Too Long?
Question:
As a shadchan who has been involved in shidduchim for many years I feel deep empathy for the wonderful people who are waiting so long to find their bashertes. I think that the time has come to rethink what have become the “norms” in dating. It’s true that we’re in 2020 and the world we live in is light years away from “der heim.” However, the Torah values of tznius and kedusha should be with us nevertheless.
The number of dates, the venues that are used, and the late-night hours that have somehow become normal over the years perhaps need to reevaluated through the lens of Torah. In addition to halachic issues, are we maybe lacking the siyata diShmaya from the ultimate Shadchan due to His distaste for the way in which we go about our dating system?
Answer:
Voices of Inspiration
Featuring Mrs. Elena Tal & Mrs. Devorah Kigel MC – Mrs. Leslie Klein
Yated Shidduch Forum 2/12/21: Thinking of Moving Out of My Parent’s House. Will this Negatively Impact My Shidduch Prospects?
Question:
I am a single yeshivishe woman in my early 30’s. As I am an adult, I believe that at this point it is appropriate to move out of my parents’ house and create my own living quarters, regardless of whether I have a husband by my side. All of my single friends either live on their own or with roommates, and all have grown from forging their own independent paths. However, I am told that moving out of one’s parents’ home is “bad for shidduchim.” Is that true? Will prospective shidduchim really turn me down because I don’t live at home?
Interestingly, I have found that within my circles, my friends prefer not to date men who are in their 30’s and still living at home since they usually turn out to be immature “mama’s boys.” Conversely, I hear stories of boys who fire a barrage of questions at girls who have chosen to move out. What’s your experience and take on the matter?
Yated Shidduch Forum 2/5/21: How Do I Know if I Should Say Yes to a Date with Someone Who Already Has Children from a Previous Marriage?
Question:
I am a single young man who is divorced. I was married for less than a year and do not have children. Some of the shidduchim being redd to me are wonderful young women who have a child or two.
How am I supposed to know if I should be considering a shidduch with someone who has children? I understand that being divorced is a “strike” against me, so to speak, but where do I “compromise” and where do I not?