Yated Shidduch Forum 3/25/22: Are Bachurim in Lakewood Only Dating Young Women In Lakewood?
Question:
I have been redding shidduchim for a number of years and successfully made a number of shidduchim. Recently, I have been hearing from mothers of Lakewood boys that they are only looking into Lakewood girls. I have heard this multiple times. I am assuming that these mothers are looking for the convenience of not shlepping for a date and eventually for the couple to live near both sets of parents. I find this very disturbing. Why are people giving up on quality for such minor conveniences?
Have you, in your experience, seen a similar phenomenon?
Special Event Featuring Mrs. Devorah Kigel
Dating the Jewish Way – Event for Single Women Ages 26 and under
Special Event Featuring Mrs. Devorah Kigel
Relationship Tools for the 21st Century Woman – Event for Single Women Ages 27 and above
Are Working Boys Getting Left Out in the Cold?
Question:
After being on the shidduch market a bit as a working boy, it is obvious to me that there are many more working boys than there are girls who want working boys. My question is: what is happening to these boys? What hope is there for them?
I’ve noticed that the girls who are interested in working boys have more options than they know what to do with. Is there anything we should do to shift this mindset? After all, it isn’t surprising that not all boys are capable of learning 8+ hours a day.
What can boys like me do to increase their market value when the vast majority of girls and parents give them a “no” off the bat?
Yated Shidduch Forum 3/4/22: A Shadchan Emailed Us a Stack of Résumés, and Later on, a Friend Redd the Same Shidduch. Who is Owed Shadchanus?
Question:
A century ago, redding a shidduch required significant effort on the shadchan’s behalf, traveling to someone’s home across town or even traveling for days to another town to relay information. Nowadays, shidduch résumé sharing occurs with little effort and sometimes no thought.
A mother with a boy in shidduchim told me that a shadchan shared with her 15 girls’ shidduch profiles in one day. This is what I would call “mass shidduch sharing.” He had done some homework, knew they were overall excellent girls, and was in general terms seeing which girls the parents would show further interest in. A few weeks later, a good friend of the mother’s redd her one girl who she knew very well. The friend was on top of the game, and the shidduch proceeded along to the point of dating and eventual engagement. The boy’s parents were aware that the other shadchan had shared this name, too, but they were much more comfortable using this friend to be the shadchan, as she knew both sides well. The original shadchan came back to the boy’s parents expecting his piece of the pie. How can someone expect reimbursement for just “name dropping”?