Yated Shidduch Forum 12/1/17: Feeling Like Nobody Cares
Question: I’m a divorced father in my thirties with a few young children. I am, boruch Hashem, healthy and have means to support my family. I would really like to get married again soon and move on with life. For some reason, I feel that as much as I try dealing with shadchanim, they never get back to me […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 11/24/17: Good Games for a Date
Question: What are some good games to play on a date? It’s been recommended to me to bring along a game in order to enhance conversation on dates. What do you suggest based on experience? Answer: Admittedly, I am not particularly well-versed in the dating games du jour. Nevertheless, as a general rule, I would […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 11/17/17: Wrong to be Looking for the “Best Guy”?
Question: Every so often, my uncle calls me about boys, looking for a shidduch for his daughter. Alert: My uncle tells me that he’s looking for “the best guy.” But his daughter doesn’t need “the best guy.” How do I know? It doesn’t take a professor in quantum physics or thermodynamics to see that she’s a fine […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 11/10/17: When Knowing Too Much Starts to Hurt
Question: We have a daughter in shidduchim. On a regular basis, we ask our wonderful son about prospective bochurim. Every boy has a chisaron, and no one knows boys better than other boys. Bochurim know others bochurim’s weaknesses and idiosyncrasies. What has happened – and apparently this is an issue encountered by many parents of girls like us – is that […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 10/27/17: Heart’s Not In It – Volume 2
Question: I am following up on a Shidduch Forum column some weeks ago, when most of the panelists seemed to imply that a young man should marry someone even if his heart isn’t in it. If there is some problem holding back a young man from connecting, or his expectations are unrealistic, then that absolutely needs to be […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 10/20/17: Using a Coupon on a Date; Waive It or Save It?
Question: What do the panelists think of using coupons on a date? I just got a 40% off coupon to a really nice restaurant. Should I beshitah not use it? (I’m not a cheapskate by nature, but if I find a good sale, a bargain, or a coupon, I definitely take advantage of it.) On the one […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 9/29/17: Are Singles Properly Prepared for Rejection?
Question: According to information that I have gathered, five out of six shidduchim involving a bochur who is dating for the first time, where the shidduchim don’t result in a marriage, end with the girl rejecting the boy after three or four dates. While this 5:1 ratio may be similar to the overall dating statistics in that nearly five out of […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 9/22/17: Feeling Guilty About Rejecting a Shidduch
Question: From time to time, I have nagging feelings of guilt with regard to two girls I went out with. I said “no” to them both. Today, I am married, boruch Hashem. However, I feel bad that after going out with two particular girls, one five times and one six times, I had no choice but […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 9/15/17: Redd to a Divorcee for the First Time, How to Approach?
Question: I am a single girl and was recently redd to a divorcee. As this is something new for me, I was wondering how to approach it. What kind of questions should I ask when calling the references? What red flags should I be looking out for? If I do decide to date him, how am I […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 9/8/17: I Want to Get Married but My Heart’s Just Not In It
Question: I’m in my upper twenties and have been in shidduchim for close to seven years. I’ve gone out with several dozen girls and have come close to engagement many times, only to break it off at the very last moment. I often feel that, intellectually, I wish to go ahead with the shidduch, since I am eager […]