Yated Shidduch Forum 12/18/20: Our Daughter Has Only Gotten 1 Yes in Over Two Years. Are There Just Not Enough Bachurim?
Question:
My daughter comes from a choshuve home and family, she is a very good eligible girl, and we are offering money. And yet, in the two years+ that she is back from seminary, she only got one yes! What is going on? My friends and neighbors tell me that they have the same problem with their daughters…
613 Seconds with The Shidduch Center of Baltimore
We spoke with The Shidduch Center to learn about their vital mission and the impact of COVID on dating.
How does The Shidduch Center serve the Baltimore community?
Rabbi Shlomo Goldberger, Executive Director
In a nutshell, the recipe is simple…
Yated Shidduch Forum 12/11/20: My Date got Cancelled. Was I Unfairly Treated?
Question:
I would like to start off by saying thank you to all the wonderful shadchanim on this panel for their constant efforts to think of and guide singles in the complex world of shidduchim.
Although this is not something I will typically do, there are times when one might go beyond their comfort zone to help a situation that so desperately needs improvement. The topic that I will discuss here is out-of-town single girls.
As an out-of-town girl, I often face difficulty in shidduchim due to my location on the map. Aside from the long distance travel, many times families are hesitant to involve themselves with out-of-town families. Yet, we all know that Hashem is the true Shadchan, and if it is His desire, the shidduch will happen regardless of the long distance travel.
Yated Shidduch Forum 12/4/20: Should the Personal Preferences of a Parent be Taken Into Account when Looking Into a Shidduch?
Question:
When considering shidduchim for my daughter, how and when may I take the interests of my wife and myself into the equation? For example, say a shidduch is redd from out of town and my wife and I don’t want to consider out of town because of the practical difficulties it will entail, is that legitimate? Of course, my daughter’s best interests are paramount, but how much of her parents’ interests can be taken into account when considering whether to say yes or no to a shidduch idea?
VIRTUAL MEET THE SHADCHAN EVENT
Dec. 5-8 2020
Yated Shidduch Forum 11/20/20: Feeling Anxious All the Time; How Do I Develop & Maintain Bitachon While in Shidduchim?
Question:
Both my older sister and I are single and waiting to get married. I find myself anxious and worried all the time. I want/need to have bitachon in order to get me through this nisayon.
My question is: What does bitachon mean in regards to shidduchim?
Thank you.
Yated Shidduch Forum 11/13/20: We Just Got a Yes for our Daughter, How Fast do we Need to Reply?
Question:
Recently, when my daughter has been redd boys, I’ve been told that I need to give a yes or no within 24 hours. Is that normal? And do you think it’s reasonable to give 24 hours for someone to do shidduch research?
Answer:
Yated Shidduch Forum 11/6/20: Were We Cheated by Our Mechutanim?
Question:
When our son got married, we were promised a certain amount of support per month for him from our mechutanim. We found out later that the girl’s parents used her bank account to give the money. We felt like they were not honest with us. Is this typical in shidduchim? Is there anything to do?
Yated Shidduch Forum 10/30/20: Are People in Shidduchim Focusing on the Wrong Things These Days?
Question:
I’ve been married for ten years. My friend at work, who was single for a long time, recently got married. We are always trying to set up our friends and we noticed that people very often say no to the ideas we mention to them, giving very superficial reasons for doing so. Do you, as shadchanim and people in the world of shidduchim, find that people today are more materialistic and shallow (focusing on looks, where the family stands in the community, etc.) and not focusing on middos, or are people smarter and more cautious (focusing on mental health issues, frumkeit, etc.)?
Yated Shidduch Forum 10/16/20: I Am Limited in my Dating Options due to Covid. How do I Properly Communicate This Challenge to Shadchanim?
Question:
I am an easygoing out-of-towner who has been in shidduchim for a couple of years. With different Covid restrictions in different places, and each city responding differently, there are potential problems that can come up while traveling in to date. If I would have to fly in to date, according to state rules and CDC regulations, I would be required to quarantine before the state allows me to go out and date, and when returning home, I would have to quarantine as well. I am okay with doing that. However, because traveling in to date at this time requires many sacrifices, I would want to do a little more than the usual inquiries to make sure that I am not flying in for a “one-and-done.”
My question is what I should or should not say when contacting shadchanim to ask for new ideas. If I explain to the shadchanim that there may be these difficulties, I fear that they will think of me as picky and hard to work with and choose to not help me at this time. If I do not explain what I will have to go through in order to come in to date, then I fear that if a shidduch comes up, the shadchan may be upset at me for asking them to help me if there are so many obstacles in the way.
How do you suggest I handle contacting shadchanim during this time without ruining our already positive relationship?