Yated Shidduch Forum 6/1/18: Should I Be Expecting More?
Question: I met a very nice, sincere gentleman. From the time I was out with him, I could tell that he is a sincere, kind, thoughtful, growing person, who has his values straight and holds his own. He has a good job, a good learning situation, and friends, and I see that he is a […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 5/18/18: Why is Hashem Doing This to Me?
Question: My daughter is a great girl, who has been sitting at home for several years, waiting for her shidduch. As time goes on, she is getting more broken. What should I tell my daughter when she asks: “Why is Hashem doing this to me?” Answer: In a very real sense, this is the most trying […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 5/11/18: We Gave a Yes, Why is He Delaying?
Question: My 27-year-old single daughter can often wait for weeks before any suitable shidduchim are suggested. Three weeks ago, she got three yeses in one day. After spending much time investigating the suggestions and then giving our yes to one of them, the shadchan notified us that the boy would not be able to meet our daughter until after Lag […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 5/4/18: Differentiating Between Wants & Needs
Question: I’ve heard from shadchanim, read in articles, and heard in shmuessen that there are “boys in their thirties who are still single because they say no to every girl they go out with.” There’s also the famous story about the Steipler Gaon zt”l, who reportedly told a yeshiva bochur that he did meet his bashert but said no to her. I personally know numerous older […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 4/27/18: How to Respond to an Anonymous Caller Researching a Shidduch
Question: I am a bochur who often gets calls about friends of mine in shidduchim. I am happy to serve as a reference for them. However, I ask the people calling me for information to identify themselves and tell me what their relationship with the girl in question is. I do this because otherwise I feel uncomfortable sharing […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 4/20/18: Moving on After Rejection
Question: I recently went out with a girl seven times and everything was amazing, at least from my perspective. Everything seemed to be progressing smoothly and I was starting to get really excited. Then, without giving a reason, she said no. I was dismayed, to say the least. Boruch Hashem, I got over it relatively quickly […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 4/13/18: Revisiting a Dropped Shidduch
Question: I have lately noticed questions and responses that discuss “revisiting” a shidduch idea that has been shelved either before or after meeting. I am surprised by the simplicity with which the concept is dealt with in the responses. You would think that it is a straightforward and easily doable process. However, both in my personal experience, […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 3/30/18: Should Shadchanim be Speaking to the Daters or the Parents?
Question: Our twenty-four-year-old son has gone out with a girl three times. The first date went really well. The second date was pretty good and the third date was so-so. The shadchan asked permission to speak directly to our son to get a better sense of what is taking place on the dates, with the goal of […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 3/23/18: Proper Nomenclature for Single Men & Women in Shidduchim
Question: I would like to start by thanking you for your very informative advice and guidance. There is one thing that does irk me slightly, but it is not exclusive to this forum. Why is it that the young men and women who are making the biggest decisions of their lives are constantly referred to […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 3/16/18: How Important is Emotional Connection?
Question: Recently, I went out with a boy seven times and everything was amazing — on paper. He had good middos, we came from similar backgrounds and hashkafos, he was pleasant-looking, and conversation flowed nicely. But I had no feelings for him. He was nice, and when we were together, I had a nice time, but I […]