Yated Shidduch Forum 12/29/17: Have Single Women Become Complacent in Shidduchim?
Question: I am a single bochur in his thirties and I’ve been meaning to write this question for a while. There have been wonderful efforts to help those in shidduchim, especially girls. The focus of much of the publicity of the shidduch crisis has been on the girls, and perhaps rightfully so. However, I have witnessed how this has negatively […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 12/22/17: Am I Too Worldly?
Question: I am a bochur in shidduchim who considers himself a normal, worldly boy. My dilemma is: How much do I say on a date with respect to how worldly I am and what I know? On one hand, I want to be honest, but on the other hand, I don’t want to scare the girl off. Answer: In […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 12/15/17: Do We Have to Give a Reason for Saying “No”?
Question: I am a parent of a boy and a girl in shidduchim. My question is simple: When saying no to a shidduch, either before any dates or after my child has already gone out, must I provide a reason? Sometimes, it would be much simpler if I were allowed to just say no and move on. […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 12/8/17: Medical Issues & Shidduchim
Question: I’m an older single girl who endures the daily hardship of having a medical issue. In our circles, when anyone has a medical issue, it’s considered a stigma, and therefore I’ve kept it a secret all my life. I was recently thinking that maybe I should disclose my secret, as perhaps it will be […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 12/1/17: Feeling Like Nobody Cares
Question: I’m a divorced father in my thirties with a few young children. I am, boruch Hashem, healthy and have means to support my family. I would really like to get married again soon and move on with life. For some reason, I feel that as much as I try dealing with shadchanim, they never get back to me […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 11/24/17: Good Games for a Date
Question: What are some good games to play on a date? It’s been recommended to me to bring along a game in order to enhance conversation on dates. What do you suggest based on experience? Answer: Admittedly, I am not particularly well-versed in the dating games du jour. Nevertheless, as a general rule, I would […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 11/17/17: Wrong to be Looking for the “Best Guy”?
Question: Every so often, my uncle calls me about boys, looking for a shidduch for his daughter. Alert: My uncle tells me that he’s looking for “the best guy.” But his daughter doesn’t need “the best guy.” How do I know? It doesn’t take a professor in quantum physics or thermodynamics to see that she’s a fine […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 11/10/17: When Knowing Too Much Starts to Hurt
Question: We have a daughter in shidduchim. On a regular basis, we ask our wonderful son about prospective bochurim. Every boy has a chisaron, and no one knows boys better than other boys. Bochurim know others bochurim’s weaknesses and idiosyncrasies. What has happened – and apparently this is an issue encountered by many parents of girls like us – is that […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 11/3/17: Can I Change My Mind After Saying Yes?
Question: There’s an unwritten rule that once a boy gives a yes to a girl, he has to go out. I have a scenario in which I wonder if that should indeed be a given. A boy comes home from a date. It’s 11 p.m. when he sits down to discuss the date with his […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 10/27/17: Heart’s Not In It – Volume 2
Question: I am following up on a Shidduch Forum column some weeks ago, when most of the panelists seemed to imply that a young man should marry someone even if his heart isn’t in it. If there is some problem holding back a young man from connecting, or his expectations are unrealistic, then that absolutely needs to be […]