Yated Shidduch Forum 4/28/17: Why Doesn’t He Have a Rebbi?
Question: Girls are often taught to ask boys they are dating if they have a rebbi they are close to. Sometimes, they pose this question as early on as the very first date. We all know that having a rebbi is indeed important. However, a bachur who attends a large, mainstream yeshiva, where the rebbi-to-talmid ratio exceeds 20:1, and hasn’t experienced any major problems […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 4/7/17: How Do I Prepare My Son For Shidduchim?
Question: My only son (after three girls) is coming home from yeshiva in Eretz Yisroel for Pesach. He very much wants to begin shidduchim. My daughters did get some shidduch prep in seminary. Unfortunately, most of the boys’ yeshivos do not prepare them at all for the dating process or for marriage. How can I, […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 3/31/17: Calling Friends as References. Why Bother?
Question: I was wondering what the panelists feel about what I think to be a worthless and time-consuming practice of calling the friends of singles in shidduchim. Don’t people understand that every boy you call about is going to be “a huge masmid, who still has a lot of friends.” Of course, “he has tons […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 3/24/17: Dumped In 20 Minutes – Is There a Double Standard?
Question: I am writing this question an hour after returning from a first date. Twenty minutes after I dropped the girl off, my parents received a phone call from the shadchan. The girl is not interested in going on a second date. At least I was worth twenty minutes. I’m fine with that. I’m more […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 3/17/17: Does Anyone Actually Enjoy a First Date?
Question: The standard reply the shadchan gives when the girl says “yes” is, “She had a great time and she wants to go out again.” Now, who on the planet has a good time sitting with a stranger (from the other gender) for three hours, over a cup of flat Diet Coke (and water, of […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 3/10/17: Purim Edition
Question: I recently went out with a fantastic boy, but something shocking happened on the date. Unbeknownst to me, he had his friend set off a smoke bomb in the hotel parking lot during the date, as we were returning to our car. He feigned concern and said, alarmingly, that apparently his car was going […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 3/3/17: Did He Only Say “Yes” Because of the Picture?
Question: I was redd to a boy and we were given a no. Later, the shadchan gave the boy’s side a picture of me and they gave a yes. I was very turned off. My résumé wasn’t good enough for them and whatever info they found out wasn’t good enough for them, but now that […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 2/24/17: Crash Dieting for a Date?
Question: Those who have battled their weight will understand my question. Others might not. My weight fluctuates. A week’s time can make a big difference. Boruch Hashem, I have seen great results from my efforts, but recently I gained a little weight and, at about the same time, I got a yes from a girl. […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 2/17/17: Tired of Being Asked, “Why Are You Still Single”?
Question: As a (fantastic) 23-year-old girl in shidduchim, my parents (and I) are often asked, “So why isn’t she married? If she’s such a great girl, why is she still on the market?” I’ve been thinking about this response very much, and I have the following question: If someone is looking into me seriously, then […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 2/10/17: Why Doesn’t My Son Want to Talk About Shidduchim?
Question: As the opening of the freezer approaches, we sat down our son during his recent Shabbos at home for a little shmooze to determine what exactly he is looking for. As we sat in his bedroom, it was clear that he wished to be anywhere but sitting there with my husband and me. He […]