Yated Shidduch Forum 1/18/19: How Should I Ask Questions on a Date?
Question:
A friend of mine told me that when she dates, she will often ask the boy very pointed questions, such as: “If you could go back in time and meet anyone, who are some people you would choose and why?” “If you had so much money that you never needed to work a day in your life, what would you do?” “What do you hope to bring to a spouse’s life?” “Are you a giving, caring person?” “If you were stuck somewhere and needed to get out, who are the three people you’d want with you?” “What would you do if….?”
Yated Shidduch Forum 1/11/19: Day Dates or Night Dates, Which One is Better?
Question:
In my dating experience, I have found day dates to be much more productive and enjoyable than night dates. Maybe it is just a coincidence or perhaps there is something to it.
I was wondering if the panelists, with their vast experience, have found day dates to be more beneficial than night dates, or vice versa. If there is data that would support one way or another, I might do what I can to arrange my dates at those times, when possible. What has your experience shown?
Yated Shidduch Forum 1/4/19: Is it Acceptable to Redd a Shidduch Via Text Message?
Question: I recently received a shidduch idea from a shadchan – by text. This was the first time I had ever received a shidduch redd by text message. The text said: “Hi, this is… I thought of a great shidduch idea for your son. I am sending a resume in the next text message.” A week later, I got another text asking […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 12/28/18: Should We Tell a Shadchan Up Front How Much We Can Afford for Shadchanus?
Question: We were recently redd a shidduch for our son by a shadchan who, I was told by others, often makes “rich” shidduchim and gets compensated substantially by the mechutanim. My husband and I are regular middle-class people who just get by. We happen to have a son who is a metzuyan, boruch Hashem, and so we have been getting a lot of redds, including from […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 12/21/18: Will Skipping Learning In Eretz Yisroel Harm My Shidduch Prospects?
Question: Recently, a Shidduch Forum question asked if not going to seminary will cause people to reject a shidduch. I would like to ask similarly: It is becoming increasingly popular for bochurim to skip going to Eretz Yisroel to learn. Do I have to be worried that if I don’t go to Eretz Yisroel, mothers – or girls – will […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 12/14/18: How Can I Get Better at Making Shidduchim?
Question: Many shadchanim have emphasized the need for more people to start making shidduch suggestions. With all the time I’ve put in, I have yet to set up a single date. However, when I’ve passed my ideas on to other people to actually redd them, my ideas have led to the boy/girl giving a yes, going out, etc. I primarily focus […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 12/7/18: Red Flags on a Date, Should I Say Something?
Question: I recently went out with a boy and noticed red flags in his middos to the extent that I felt I was being belittled and his manner was a bit threatening at one point. In addition, he put down a lot of my opinions in a bashing manner. I came out feeling that this is someone you don’t […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 11/30/18: Determining the Appropriate Amount for Shadchanus
Question: When it comes to paying shadchanus, how should what is owed be determined when no price was specified? What determines the “going rate”? Answer: Before proceeding to address this question, and due to the potential halachic ramifications of doing so, I would like to make mention that the following was reviewed by a rov before […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 11/23/18: Can Better Dating Practices Help Reduce Divorce Rates?
Question: In light of statistics indicating that the divorce rate in the frum community is increasing, some askonim, rabbonim and community leaders are suggesting that there is something wrong with our dating system and that some of these heartbreaks could have been avoided. Do the panelists have any suggestions for better dating productivity to avoid, minimize, or reverse this regrettable trend? […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 11/16/18: Will Skipping Seminary Harm My Shidduch Prospects?
Question: I’m a 12th grader from an out-of-town community considering seminary next year. From a shidduch perspective, does it make such a difference if I don’t go? I heard that one of the first questions mothers ask when researching girls for their sons is which seminary she went to. I just don’t have an interest in going to […]