Yated Shidduch Forum 2/5/21: How Do I Know if I Should Say Yes to a Date with Someone Who Already Has Children from a Previous Marriage?
Question:
I am a single young man who is divorced. I was married for less than a year and do not have children. Some of the shidduchim being redd to me are wonderful young women who have a child or two.
How am I supposed to know if I should be considering a shidduch with someone who has children? I understand that being divorced is a “strike” against me, so to speak, but where do I “compromise” and where do I not?
Yated Shidduch Forum 1/22/21: Many of the People I Dated Have Real Problems. How Can I Best Bring This to Their Attention?
Question:
I’ve been dating for a number of years now and have met all kinds of people from different walks of life. It seems to me that some of the young men I happened to meet are so eager to marry and build a family that they get caught in their blinding desire and don’t realize that they actually have to build a relationship with me in order for us to connect and become husband and wife. They see their dream, but they don’t see me.
Other men simply have bad social skills, come late consistently, or have paralyzing anxiety that gets in the way of them connecting or being reasonably flexible. These people go on to date other girls, assuming they just haven’t found the right one.
My question is, after I date such a fellow, will I be doing him a service if I reach out to his rabbi or reference and let them know that this man, who wants to get married so badly, needs hadracha? Or do I go about my way and hope he gets what he needs somehow? If I do say something, how would I best go about it?
Yated Shidduch Forum 1/8/21: Are We Overeducating Our Daughter’s?
Question:
Like many people, I try from time to time to suggest shidduchim to singles I know. In the majority of cases, it’s the girl’s side who rejects the suggestion based on the fact that the boy isn’t spiritually suitable for them. It may be that the boy is learning in yeshiva but also attending school to learn a vocation and the girl wants a serious learner only. Or maybe he’s working and she only wants a learning boy. Or she may be okay with a working/college boy, but he has to be a solid ben Torah per her standards.
These rejection patterns are often repeated and have gotten me thinking. Many of these values are instilled in our girls during their high school and seminary years by well-meaning mechanchos….
Yated Shidduch Forum 1/1/21: Leaving Without Saying Goodbye?
Question:
On several occasions, my son has had girls run out of his car after a date. He tells the girl that he had a nice date, and then, for example, he adds that he’ll call her (if that’s where they’re up to), and she flies out of the car without a proper good night.
There seems to be something missing in the training here.
Have you found this to be an issue? If yes, who should be responsible to convey to girls – and boys – that at the end of a date, a proper goodbye and good night is mentchlech?
Yated Shidduch Forum 12/25/20: Why Must a First Date Take so Long?
Dear Panelists,
I am a single girl in shidduchim. I have an idea and I’m curious to hear what you think of it. In my circles, it’s accepted that the first date is three hours long. Between driving to the hotel (or wherever people go now that hotels are closed), spending time there and driving back, the date is a full-night event…
Yated Shidduch Forum 12/18/20: Our Daughter Has Only Gotten 1 Yes in Over Two Years. Are There Just Not Enough Bachurim?
Question:
My daughter comes from a choshuve home and family, she is a very good eligible girl, and we are offering money. And yet, in the two years+ that she is back from seminary, she only got one yes! What is going on? My friends and neighbors tell me that they have the same problem with their daughters…
613 Seconds with The Shidduch Center of Baltimore
We spoke with The Shidduch Center to learn about their vital mission and the impact of COVID on dating.
How does The Shidduch Center serve the Baltimore community?
Rabbi Shlomo Goldberger, Executive Director
In a nutshell, the recipe is simple…
Yated Shidduch Forum 12/11/20: My Date got Cancelled. Was I Unfairly Treated?
Question:
I would like to start off by saying thank you to all the wonderful shadchanim on this panel for their constant efforts to think of and guide singles in the complex world of shidduchim.
Although this is not something I will typically do, there are times when one might go beyond their comfort zone to help a situation that so desperately needs improvement. The topic that I will discuss here is out-of-town single girls.
As an out-of-town girl, I often face difficulty in shidduchim due to my location on the map. Aside from the long distance travel, many times families are hesitant to involve themselves with out-of-town families. Yet, we all know that Hashem is the true Shadchan, and if it is His desire, the shidduch will happen regardless of the long distance travel.
Yated Shidduch Forum 12/4/20: Should the Personal Preferences of a Parent be Taken Into Account when Looking Into a Shidduch?
Question:
When considering shidduchim for my daughter, how and when may I take the interests of my wife and myself into the equation? For example, say a shidduch is redd from out of town and my wife and I don’t want to consider out of town because of the practical difficulties it will entail, is that legitimate? Of course, my daughter’s best interests are paramount, but how much of her parents’ interests can be taken into account when considering whether to say yes or no to a shidduch idea?
Yated Shidduch Forum 11/20/20: Feeling Anxious All the Time; How Do I Develop & Maintain Bitachon While in Shidduchim?
Question:
Both my older sister and I are single and waiting to get married. I find myself anxious and worried all the time. I want/need to have bitachon in order to get me through this nisayon.
My question is: What does bitachon mean in regards to shidduchim?
Thank you.