Yated Shidduch Forum 3/9/18: Is it Possible to Change Someone’s Mind About a Shidduch?
Question: As shadchanim, you surely know that most ideas that are suggested don’t result in an engagement or even a date. When I redd shidduchim, I understand that parents know what their children need and I accept their negative response. Sometimes, though, I wonder if the shadchan should get more involved when a shidduch is nixed for petty reasons. I have […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 3/2/18: Bechira, Hishtadlus, & Hashgacha – A Complementary Trio?
Question: My daughter was recently redd a shidduch to a phenomenal Litvishe boy and we are ready to give a yes. The boy’s father, however, drives a Volkswagen, a well know German car. We have a strong sensitivity to that, since our grandparents’ family perished in the Holocaust. Is that enough of a reason to negate the shidduch? Does it make a […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 2/23/18: Purim Edition!
Question: I went out with a girl and, during the course of our conversation on the date, we were discussing the Yated. More specifically, the conversation focused on the Shidduch Forum and the Chinuch Roundtable. The girl posed a question: Given a choice of being a panelist on the Shidduch Forum or the Chinuch Roundtable, which one would you choose? I responded that […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 2/16/18: Not So Into His Looks, What To Do?
Question: I am a mother of a girl in shidduchim. My daughter is a fine, frum, hard-working girl who possess sterling middos. My daughter has been dating a very fine young man. He possesses a lot of the qualities she is looking for in a husband. Although she is not a materialistic girl, she has pointed out that […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 2/9/18: Should The Yated Feature Profiles of Singles?
Question I used to be a frequent reader of this column, but I rarely read it anymore. I am not a big fan of it. I am surprised by the absurdity of many questions and I don’t appreciate many of the responses. Be that as it may, I wish to propose an idea: The bottom […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 2/2/18: Are My Parents Being Too Picky?
Question: Thank you for your wonderful newspaper. The Shidduch Forum has become my favorite column. About a year and a half ago, I dated a girl very seriously. We were very close to getting engaged, and my parents and I were very excited about the shidduch. At that point, someone shared information about the girl’s sister and family. Basically, they […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 1/26/18: How Much Information Do I Have to Give About Money?
Question: I have a good friend – we’ll come him Moish – who has been blessed with financial wealth. He does very well parnassah-wise. However, I know that he does not assist his children financially. I often receive shidduch calls about him and his children, and, as can be expected, people ask me “if he has money.” I […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 1/19/18: How Do I Prevent My Shidduch Profile References From Doing More Harm Than Good?
Question: After our daughter had been in the parsha of shidduchim for almost a year, it has gotten back to us that a close family friend on our daughter’s résumé, when called as a reference, gives nice and appropriate information, but on numerous occasions has volunteered her own opinion, saying, “I can’t see it,” when she knew who the […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 1/12/18: Unfair Stereotyping?
Question: The following is from an email I recently received from a shadchan: “So, Rivky got back to me and stated that she looked into it and heard she is too modern for you; she wears ___ (type of makeup, details not important), etc. and heard you are more yeshivish.” In my dating experience, this is an […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 1/5/18: Where is the “Thank You”?
Question: As a young married couple, we spend a lot of time trying to set up singles. As anyone who has been involved in shidduchim knows, it can be very time-consuming. Recently, we set up a few shidduchim. Some almost got engaged, while others only went as far as a second or third date. It is disheartening that […]