Yated Shidduch Forum 2/17/17: Tired of Being Asked, “Why Are You Still Single”?
Question: As a (fantastic) 23-year-old girl in shidduchim, my parents (and I) are often asked, “So why isn’t she married? If she’s such a great girl, why is she still on the market?” I’ve been thinking about this response very much, and I have the following question: If someone is looking into me seriously, then […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 2/10/17: Why Doesn’t My Son Want to Talk About Shidduchim?
Question: As the opening of the freezer approaches, we sat down our son during his recent Shabbos at home for a little shmooze to determine what exactly he is looking for. As we sat in his bedroom, it was clear that he wished to be anywhere but sitting there with my husband and me. He […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 2/3/17: Broaching the Topic of Support
Question: I am the mother of a boy in shidduchim. We are looking into a shidduch and we asked the shadchan to find out what the other side’s plan is regarding support. Their reply was, “Our daughter is not being sold,” and they will only discuss money matters once the shidduch is really serious. What […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 1/27/17: Finding Meaning in Conversation
Question: As a bochur in shidduchim, I have the following problem, which I’m hoping can be resolved by the esteemed panelists. Boruch Hashem, I was gifted with a good brain; I am what they call a “baal kishron” – or so I’m told. During conversations on dates, I often find certain topics that have some […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 1/20/17: A Rebuttal From the “Shallow Thinker”
Question: Hi. I’m the “shallow thinker” from two weeks ago. I read all the responses to my question, and I’m wondering if the real answer is rooted in a different problem in the shidduch system. Dehaynu: It is well-known that girls dump boys a lot more than boys dump girls, at least according to the […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 12/30/16: Overwhelmed with Shidduch Suggestions
Question: My son will begin shidduchim soon, having returned from learning in Eretz Yisroel this past Sukkos. My son has many maalos and we’ve been fortunate to be redd many shidduchim. I have a stack of résumés on my kitchen table. I am not saying this to boast. I am mentioning it because, as strange […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 12/23/16: Who Should the Shadchan Talk To?
Question: When redding a shidduch, it is my preference to speak directly with each single as the shidduch moves along. Of course, I am always happy to speak with the parents as well, but I feel it is important to speak with the single themselves after each date to be sure that I am hearing […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 12/16/16: Out of His League?
Question: I was recently asked to redd a shidduch to a boy of mediocre intellectual ability who insists that he needs a girl of pleasant appearance “with a degree.” He says that he wants to learn for three years and go to medical school or pursue a professional career. I certainly don’t want to burst his bubble, but how do I […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 12/9/16: Can an Emotional Connected Be Created?
Question: I am involved in a shidduch where the couple has met five times. The dates are going well, and the conversation seems to flow naturally, but the couple has not yet connected on an emotional level. What pointers can I give the boy–or the girl– to take it to the next level? Answer: Creating and sustaining an emotional […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 11/25/16: Considering a Second Marriage But My Teen-age Daughter Protests. What Should I Do?
Question: After my wife passed away a number of years ago, a second marriage was not on mind. Recently, though, I have been redd a number of shidduchim and I am ready to consider it. However, my fifteen-year-old daughter has told me in no uncertain terms that she does not want me to get re-married. […]