Yated Shidduch Forum 9/7/18: In Search of Chizuk
Question: Hi. I look forward to read your column in the Yated each week. It’s very interesting and has been helpful to me with my dating difficulties. I’m an older single girl in my low thirties facing the hardship of being single for a number of years. Plus, I was previously engaged just about five years ago, […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 8/31/18: He Slipped Off His Shoes on a Date; Deal Breaker?
Question: I went on a date with a boy and it went well. We will be going out again. On the first date, however, he kept slipping off his slip-on shoes under the table. I know that people who wear slip-ons sometimes do that, but having it being done on a date really bothered me. […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 8/24/18: How to Confirm Financial Support?
Question: I have two married daughters who my wife and I help support. Our son is now in shidduchim, and while we are not looking to “put him up for sale,” we would like some assurance that the other side will at least provide some support. (Our financial situation is very tight.) I have a relative […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 8/17/18: An Unexpected Language Barrier
Question: I went out with a girl two times and the dates went well. However, during our conversations, she kept using certain phrases, like “Oh my gosh,” and “It was sooo amazing” and, most of all, “like.” I was like no way. I was like are you kidding? I was like this… I was like that… I […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 8/10/18: What to do When Younger Siblings Protest a Shidduch Idea?
Question: A shidduch was redd to our son and we are considering giving a yes. Everything sounds great. However, two of my other sons, ages 18 and 20, found out about the shidduch and are adamantly against it. They say that they “know the girl’s brothers from camp” and there is “no way” the shidduch can proceed. “You can’t be serious,” “They’re not […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 8/3/18: Scary Driving on a Date
Question: What should a young lady do if she went on a first date with a young man and would like to continue, but his driving really scares her? Answer: That a young man adopted driving habits which are conspicuously more liberal than those of the young woman he is dating is not exceptionally surprising […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 7/27/18: Who Should Be The Shadchan?
Question: My husband and I often come up with shidduchim suggestions for singles we know, but we aren’t comfortable or experienced enough to serve as the shadchan. As such, we prefer to pass on the shidduch to more experienced, well-known shadchanim to handle the shidduch. Would it be better for the shidduch for us to hand it over to very well-known “big name” shadchanim or an experienced shadchan who […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 7/20/18: Does Every Dater Need a Dating Coach
Question: Recently, one of the panelists stated the following: “I understand that you may have begun dating feeling somewhat tense. Now that you are feeling more comfortable with yourself, it doesn’t mean that you are a better dater. If you were, you wouldn’t be dating anymore. You’d be married. Feeling more comfortable simply means that […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 7/13/18: Picky Parents = Picky Daters?
Question: As a shadchan, I wish to bring to a light a reality that I’ve seen time and again. Parents have a fine son or daughter, who they think the world of. They set the bar extremely high, turning down shidduchim right and left, because the people being redd lack the prerequisites (name recognition, yichus, money, etc.) they are seeking […]
Yated Shidduch Forum 7/6/18: Should I Go on a Second or Third Date? How to Decide?
Question: A common quandary in shidduchim is whether to go out on a second (or, at times, a third) date. The hadracha provided in this forum is to, barring any obvious red flags, go out again as meaningful relationships require some time to blossom. I would like to suggest a process singles can follow that would significantly alleviate the […]